NO, I CAN'T. OKAY, I HAVE TO FINISH THIS REPORT.
[ Man ] YOU CAN TAKE A COUPLE OF HOURS OFF.
WELL, I KNOW IT'S SUNDAY, JEFF, BUT I'M EVALUATING...
A SHIPPING COMPANY FOR THIS CLIENT FROM BARCELONA, AND HE'S FLYING IN TOMORROW.
COME ON. NO. I'M NOT GONNA CHANGE MY MIND.
I'LL GIVE YOU A REALLY GOOD BACK RUB. [ Laughing ] NO !
OKAY, OKAY. YOU WIN.
[ Jeff ] WE'LL DO IT OVER THE PHONE.
JEFF, DON'T DO THIS TO ME. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING ?
I'M NOT GONNA TELL YOU.
BESIDES A THONG, AND, UH-- [ Clicks ]
MARIBEL ? COME HERE. YEAH ?
I HAVE A BOYFRIEND EMERGENCY. SEE THAT GUY WAITING FOR ME ? THE BOY FROM IPANEMA THERE.
YOU WANNA BAIL ON HIM ? HE'S A BABE.
COME ON. PLEASE ? TELL HIM THAT I STAYED HOME SICK.
SPENCE IS TAKING ME SAILING. [ Sighs ]
COME ON. I'LL OWE YOU. OKAY.
[ Woman ] COME ON IN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK ? I TOOK THE RED OUT.
IT'S GREAT, YOLANDA. IT MAKES YOU LOOK YOUNGER.
YOUNGER ? REALLY ?
ARE YOU ALMOST DONE ? 'CAUSE I DON'T WANNA BE LATE. YEAH.
[ Loudly ] HOW WAS CHURCH ? [ Laughs ]
[ Lower ] HOW WAS CHURCH ? ANYONE INTERESTING ?
YOLANDA. CHURCH IS NOT A PICKUP BAR. I'M NOT CATHOLIC ANYMORE, REMEMBER ?
I REMEMBER YOUR DAD TRYING TO UNDERSTAND THE DIFFERENCE.
WELL, CATHOLICS WORSHIP SAINTS. CHRISTIANS WORSHIP CHRIST.
CHRIST WAS A CHRISTIAN, NOT CATHOLIC. UH, HONEY,
CHRIST WAS A JEW. REALLY ?
YEAH, AND HE HAD GREAT HAIR. [ Laughs ]
SPEAKING OF WHICH, WHY DON'T WE DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT WITH YOUR HAIR ?
[ Yolanda ] YEAH ! ME ? NO, I DON'T THINK SO.
WE COULD SNIP IT RIGHT ABOUT HERE. BUT THE BANGS, THEY NEED TO GROW.
[ Yolanda ] OH, YEAH. IT WOULD ACCENTUATE YOUR EYES.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ? I DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING WITH MY HAIR.
I-- ARE YOU GOING TO COME, OR WHAT ?
GO AHEAD. I'LL BE FINE. OKAY.
OH, TELL YOUR DAD I'M BRINGING APRIL OVER.
[ Man, Woman Laughing ] JEFF, I DON'T KNOW IF THIS IS WORKING.
MMM, BABY. IT'S WORKING, BELIEVE ME.
I DON'T THINK IT'S STRONG ENOUGH.
BELIEVE ME, CARMEN. TRUST ME ON THIS. IT'S STRONG ENOUGH.
[ Both Laughing ] ARE YOU SURE ?
POSITIVE. [ Cracking Sound ]
IS THAT AN EARTHQUAKE ? WHAT WAS THAT ?
[ Cracking Sound Continues ] [ Cries Out ]
[ Carmen Laughing ] GREAT CHAIR, JEFF.
I TOLD YOU IT WASN'T STRONG ENOUGH.
[ Laughing ] YOU DID NOT SAY THAT.
YOU DON'T MISS IT, US BEING A COUPLE ?
WE SUCKED AS A COUPLE.
I LIKED US AS A COUPLE.
[ Gasps ] SHIT ! I DIDN'T REALIZE IT WAS SO LATE !
I GOTTA GO ! OH ! JEFF, LET ME UP.
♪♪ [ Woman On Radio ]
HEY, MUSIC STORE GIRL. YOU KNOW SOMEONE NAMED EDEN ?
YEAH. I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO YOU STRAIGHT.
EDEN SKIPPED OUT THE BACK DOOR WITH SOME KEN DOLL.
WHO IS "KEN DOLL" ? I DON'T UNDERSTAND.
OH. YOU'RE NOT FROM THIS SOLAR SYSTEM, ARE YOU ?
SHE STOOD YOU UP. THAT MEANS--
OKAY, I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
IT'S KNOWN TO HAPPEN IN MY SOLAR SYSTEM AS WELL.
WHICH, I GATHER FROM THE MUSIC YOU'RE LISTENING TO, IS BRAZIL ?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN MUSIC ?
THAT'S BEBEL GILBERTO'S COMPOSITION, "SEM CONTENCAO,"
RECORDED IN 1999, RELEASED ON SIX DEGREES RECORDS... WOW.
AND ORIGINALLY INSPIRED BY THE LEGENDARY BOSSA NOVA ARTIST, JOAO GILBERTO,
WHO HAPPENS TO BE HER FATHER.
HEY, WAIT. HAVE A COFFEE WITH ME.
MM-MM. I CAN'T. I'M LATE FOR DINNER.
ACCORDING TO THE THEORY OF RELATIVITY, TIME DOESN'T EXIST AS WE KNOW IT.
YEAH, BUT MY FATHER DOES.
SO, UH, YOU'RE GOING TO STAND ME UP AS WELL ?
NO. WE DIDN'T HAVE A DATE. HOW DO YOU KNOW, HUH ?
MAYBE THIS ALL HAPPENED FOR A PURPOSE. MAYBE YOU HAD A DATE WITH DESTINY.
OH, COME ON. COME ON. THERE'S A COFFEE SHOP ACROSS THE STREET.
DOES MY DESTINY HAVE A NAME ?
ANDRE, BUT YOU CAN CALL ME ANDY.
[ Carmen ] HOW LONG WE GONNA WAIT THIS TIME ?
MAYBE SHE GOT STUCK IN TRAFFIC.
TU SABES QUE MARIBEL WALKS HOME FROM WORK.
ENGLISH OR SPANISH. ONE OR THE OTHER.
[ Sighs ]
ALL RIGHT, SOUP ISN'T MEANT TO BE SERVED COLD.
LETICIA.
DEAR LORD, THANK YOU FOR THE BLESSINGS OF YOUR BOUNTY,
AND HELP US, DEAR JESUS, TO COMMIT OURSELVES WHOLEHEARTEDLY...
TO THE SERVICE OF YOUR NAME. AMEN.
BE OUR GUIDE, LORD JESUS CHRIST, AND SHOW US YOUR WILL.
GRANT US THE PRIVILEGE OF DWELLING IN THE BOSOM OF YOUR LOVE...
FOR NOW AND FOR ALL ETERNITY.
AMEN ? [ Clears Throat ]
- SOMETHING WRONG ? - NO, IT'S FINE.
WHAT IS IT ? SHE SAID-- SHE SAID IT WAS-- IT WAS FINE.
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK SOMETHING'S MISSING.
SERRANOS.
NO, NO. I PUT SERRANOS IN.
OH, BUT YOU REMOVED THE SEEDS.
YOU WOULD ADD SEEDS. I RESPECT TRADITION.
IT'S JUST THAT YOU MADE IT BETTER BEFORE, PA.
I ALWAYS MAKE SQUASH FLOWER SOUP THIS WAY. [ Bell Dings ]
HE'S GETTING WORSE. HE CAN'T TASTE ANYTHING.
SO ? DO YOU HAVE TO RUB IT IN ?
HELLO ? MARI, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU ?
I'M SORRY.
I'M HERE ALREADY. GIVE ME A BREAK, JESUS CHRIST !
SORRY, LETI. GONNA WASH MY HANDS. MARIBEL,
DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME IT IS ? I KNOW.
[ Maribel ] I KNOW. I KNOW. YOU DON'T HAVE TO SAY IT.
PERDONAME, DADDY. PLEASE CUT THE SPANGLISH.
ES QUE, I THINK I MAY HAVE MET MY DESTINY TODAY.
- I THOUGHT YOU WERE MAD AT HER. - MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GROW UP ? WHEN EVERYBODY GETS OFF MY BACK, THAT'S WHEN.
COME ON, NOW. THIS IS NOT HOW WE BEHAVE FOR DINNER.
WE HONOR DINNER. WE HAVE GOOD MANNERS AND WE HAVE PLEASANT CONVERSATION.
WELL, I HAVE A LITTLE ANNOUNCEMENT.
YOU KNOW THE NEW LUXURY CONDOS GOING UP IN PLAYA DEL REY ?
MM-HMM. A FRIEND OF MINE WHO WORKS FOR THE DEVELOPER GAVE ME A TIP,
AND I WAS ABLE TO GET MY BID IN EARLY.
YOU'RE MOVING OUT ? WELL, NOT IMMEDIATELY, NO.
IT'S STILL UNDER CONSTRUCTION.
DOES IT HAVE A POOL ? CAN I COME ON WEEKENDS ?
DAD, AREN'T YOU GOING TO SAY ANYTHING ?
IF YOU NEED A LOAN FOR THE DOWN PAYMENT-- I'M COVERED.
I USED MY SAVINGS. OH.
WELL, WHAT ABOUT THE MORTGAGE ?
MY AGENT HANDLED EVERYTHING, AND I EVEN GOT HIM TO EAT HALF HIS FEE.
WELL, I UNDERSTAND.
IF YOU WANTED MY ADVICE, YOU WOULD HAVE ASKED ME BEFORE MAKING THE DECISION.
WELL, I'M SORRY, DAD, BUT YOU WOULD HAVE TOLD ME NOT TO DO IT.
[ Spoon Clatters ] I CAN'T DIGEST MY FOOD.
- YOU DID LAST WEEK. - [ Doorbell Chimes ]
[ Leticia ] HEY ! [ Yolanda ] HI ! HERE SHE IS.
[ Scattered Greetings ] SORRY IF WE'RE DISTURBING DINNER.
- HI, YOLI. - IT'S SPRINGTIME BECAUSE APRIL IS HERE.
YOU DIDN'T MISS ANYTHING UNUSUAL. JUST THE TWO ARIES BUTTING HEADS.
LET'S GET HER A CHAIR DOWN. SHE EATS HIS FOOD.
HERE WE GO. TRY THIS. WHAT IS IT ?
NOPALES. I THINK YOU'RE GOING TO LIKE IT.
GO FIGURE. I CAN'T GET HER TO FINISH HER CEREAL,
AND YOU GET HER TO EAT CACTUS.
[ Women Chuckling ] CACTUS ?
- COOL. - [ All Laughing ]
[ Phone Ringing ] OH, EXCUSE ME.
SOME SOUP ? I'M NOT STAYING.
[ Cell Phone Ringing ] OH, THAT'S ME. HELLO ?
[ Woman ] YOLANDA, WHERE ON EARTH ARE YOU ?
YOU ARE SUPPOSED-- IT'S MY MOM. HER FLIGHT ARRIVED EARLY.
I WAS ON MY WAY-- HOW COULD YOU LEAVE ME STRANDED HERE ?
THERE'S NOTHING I CAN DO. BUT IT'S SUNDAY, AND I'M RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER.
THE GOVERNOR'S DESSERT IS BURNED UP, POR FAVOR. WE NEED YOUR HELP.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, HOMBRE. I'LL COME BY IF I HAVE TO.
IF YOU'RE NOT HERE IN FIVE-- SHE THINKS SHE BELONGS AT THE CUSTODY HEARING.
YOU KNOW, SINGLE WOMAN LIVING WITH HER MOTHER. LOOKS BETTER, HUH ?
CAN I SPEAK TO GRANDMA ? [ Phone Beeps Off ]
HERE YOU GO. OH, APRIL !
[ All Laughing ] I GOTTA GO. LETI, THANKS FOR BABY-SITTING.
MY PLEASURE. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE FUN, RIGHT ?
I'LL SEE YOU LATER. BYE. SEE YA. GOOD NIGHT.
I'VE GOT TO PUT OUT A FIRE.
WHAT HAPPENED TO "WE HONOR DINNERTIME" ?
HEY, DID YOU HEAR, DAD ? YOLANDA'S MOM IS MOVING INTO THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
OH. THERE'S CANDIED PUMPKIN IN THE KITCHEN FOR YOUR ICE CREAM.
OKAY. BYE-BYE.
WHAT ?
[ Exasperated Sigh ]
THIS WAY, SIR. OVER HERE. RIGHT THIS WAY. CATERING.
HOLA, JEFE.
APRON. HE'S HERE !
TOQUE.
[ Man Talking Spanish ]
SHALL WE FIRE THEM ?
NO, THEY'LL NEVER DO IT AGAIN. DON'T FIRE THEM.
[ Relieved Sighs ]
TONY, THE APPLES ARE STILL MOIST. HOW MANY BREAD LOAVES DO WE HAVE ?
- WE GOT PLENTY OF LOAVES. - REMOVE THE BREAD CRUSTS, SAVE THE APPLES.
OOCHIE, KENNY. CUT THE BAGUETTES INTO CUBES, COAT THEM WITH MELTED BUTTER...
AND BAKE FOR TEN MINUTES. [ Shouts Orders ]
AND I'LL PREPARE THE SUGAR SYRUP. [ Speaks Spanish ]
WE'LL CALL IT SOMETHING-- SOMETHING FRENCH.
UH, BELLE MELANGE. BELLE MELANGE ! ¡ ANDALE ! ¡ VAMOS !
[ Man ] I WANT EVERY LITTLE PIECE OF BURNT CRUST OUT OF THERE.
I DON'T WANT TO SEE ONE !
[ Continues In Spanish ]
[ Kissing Sound ] FANTASTICO !
[ Continues In Spanish ]
BELLE MELANGE ? BELLE MELANGE. IT MEANS "A LOVELY MESS."
[ Both Laugh ]
THAT'S PERFECT FOR THIS HOLLYWOOD CROWD.
♪♪ [ Humming ]
HEY, LETI, YOU HAVE PAPERS TO GRADE. WHY DON'T YOU LET ME AND MARIBEL FINISH ?
HOW LONG YOU GONNA GIVE ME THE SILENT TREATMENT ?
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU EXPECTED. I MEAN, WE ARE THREE GROWN WOMEN.
♪ NA, NA, NA, NA, NA, NA ♪♪
OKAY, MAKE THAT TWO GROWN WOMEN LIVING AT HOME WITH THEIR DADDY.
THAT MIGHT HAVE WORKED IN MEXICO IN HIS GENERATION,
BUT I DON'T THINK HE REALIZES THINGS ARE DIFFERENT NOW.
I MEAN, HE NEEDS TO MEET SOMEONE. HE'S BEEN ALONE FOR TOO LONG.
HE ONLY HAD ONE TRUE LOVE IN HIS LIFE.
YEAH, AND ALL THEY DID WAS BICKER AND FIGHT.
TH-THAT'S HOW THEY LOVED EACH OTHER. PLEASE, LETICIA--
I MEAN, WHAT DO YOU REMEMBER ? YOU WERE WHAT, UH-- I WAS OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW, OKAY ?
ANYWAY, I HAVE TO GET OUT, AND SO DO YOU.
WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET IT THROUGH YOUR HEAD THAT I CHOOSE TO LIVE MY LIFE THIS WAY ?
POR FAVOR, LETICIA, YOU ARE LYING TO YOURSELF.
OKAY, OKAY. SOMEBODY HAS TO CARE WHAT HAPPENS TO DAD.
I CARE, OKAY ? I CARE VERY MUCH WHAT HAPPENS TO HIM.
OH, YEAH. I'M NOT GOING TO USE THAT AS AN EXCUSE NOT TO LIVE MY LIFE.
ALL YOU THINK ABOUT IS YOU. STOP PRETENDING YOU'RE MAD AT ME.
YOU'RE MAD BECAUSE CARLOS SHOWED YOU THE DOOR A DECADE AGO.
AT LEAST I DON'T SLEEP WITH EVERY GUY I MEET.
DON'T MAKE ME OUT TO BE A SLUT JUST BECAUSE I'VE HAD SEX IN THIS DECADE.
OKAY, WHY DON'T YOU WAKE UP AND GET A LIFE.
I HAVE A LIFE. [ Mocking ] I HAVE A LIFE.
YOU SHOULD HAVE STAYED CATHOLIC AND JOINED A CONVENT FOR ALL THE FUN YOU'RE HAVING.
[ Maribel ] YOU'RE AGGRAVATING HER COLITIS.
[ Carmen Sighs ] WHAT IS WRONG NOW ?
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS DO THAT ? DO WHAT ?
DISMISS ME LIKE I DON'T EXIST.
[ Muffled ] IT IS NOT JUST YOU. SHE DOES IT TO EVERYBODY.
- WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? - DON'T PLAY DUMB, CARMEN.
YOU CAN BE A BITCH WHEN YOU WANT TO BE. NO WONDER YOU DON'T HAVE FRIENDS.
OH, WHAT DO YOU KNOW ? YOU'RE SO... IRRESPONSIBLE,
YOU CAN'T EVEN SHOW UP ON TIME FOR DINNER.
OH, PLEASE. WHY SHOULD I WHEN IT ALWAYS ENDS UP LIKE THIS ?
OH, BASTA ! [ Stammering ] I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE !
IS THAT A PROMISE OR A THREAT, LETI ?
OH, JESUS, YOU'RE PATHETIC. GIVE IT TO ME. GIVE IT TO ME ! NO !
[ Gasps ] OH, NO !
OH, MY-- ARE YOU CRAZY ?
SO FUN ! NO WONDER THE GREEKS DO IT, AND THEY SING AND DANCE.
LET'S TRY THAT, SHALL WE ? MARIBEL. MARIBEL, WAIT.
NO, NO, NO, NO. ♪ YOU WON'T ADMIT YOU LOVE ME ♪
OKAY. ♪ AND SO HOW AM I ♪
[ All Shriek ] ♪ TO KNOW ♪
♪ YOU ONLY TELL ME ♪
♪ PERHAPS, PERHAPS ♪ [ Together ] ♪ PERHAPS ♪
NO ! [ Plate Shatters ]
[ Laughing ]
[ Together ] ♪ A MILLION TIMES I ASK YOU ♪
♪ AND THEN I ASK YOU OVER ♪
[ Carmen, Maribel ] ♪ AGAIN ♪
♪ YOU ONLY ANSWER QUIZAS, QUIZAS ♪ OKAY.
♪ QUIZAS ♪ [ Both Laughing ]
OHH !
♪ ESTAS PERDIENDO EL TIEMPO ♪
♪ PENSANDO, PENSANDO ♪
WHOO ! ♪ POR LO MAS QUE TU QUIERA ♪
♪ HASTA CUANDO HASTA CUANDO ♪
[ Together ] ♪ SO IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME ♪
♪ SAY YES BUT IF YOU DON'T, DEAR ♪
♪ CONFESS AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ♪
IN SPANGLISH ! ♪ PERHAPS, QUIZAS, PERHAPS ♪♪
[ All Giggling ]
[ Chattering ]
[ Martin ] I JUST-- I JUST DON'T GET IT.
MY THREE GET THE BEST OF EVERYTHING,
AND THE ONLY THANKS I GET IS A DAUGHTER WHO SPENDS HER LAST DIME ON A COOKIE-CUTTER CONDO.
FOR WHAT ? SO IT'S NOT THE MOVING PART THAT BOTHERS YOU ?
NO. NO, NO, NO, NO. I WANT THEM TO MOVE OUT.
I WANT THEM TO GET THEIR OWN LIVES-- THANK YOU.
YOU JUST WISH THAT THEY WOULD ASK FOR YOUR ADVICE.
SO WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT, HUH ? NOTHING. NOTHING, BUT--
I MEAN, SINCE YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PUSHED HER...
TO GET HER M.B.A., I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD TRUST THAT SHE KNOWS WHAT SHE'S DOING.
I DIDN'T PUSH HER. BESIDES, I THOUGHT IT WAS FOR HER OWN GOOD.
ANYWAY-- [ Exhales ]
I THINK THE ONE THAT'S GOING TO GIVE YOU A LOT OF TROUBLE IS THAT OLD MAID LETICIA.
SHE'S GOING TO STICK TO YOU FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.
NOW SHE'S GOT THE PERFECT BOYFRIEND. WHO ?
JESUS CHRIST. CUIDADO. CUIDADO.
[ Chuckling ] ¿ ES VERDAD O MENTIRA ?
[ Continues In Spanish ]
AY, COMO.
SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.
♪♪ [ Whistling ] [ Buzzer Rings ]
[ Doorbell Chimes ]
[ Muffled ] WHERE'S MY SHIRT ?
"THANKS FOR IRONING THE SHIRT, DAD."
HI. HI. ♪ HOLA ♪♪
I PRACTICALLY HAD TO BEG YOLANDA TO BRING ME OVER HERE.
I'VE HEARD SO MANY GOOD THINGS ABOUT YOU. PLEASE.
MY DAUGHTER'S BEEN SO ALONE DURING HER TERRIBLE DIVORCE.
SHE TELLS ME THAT YOU'RE A WIDOWER ? MM-HMM.
MARTIN, ISN'T IT ? YES, IT'S A PLEASURE.
WELL, I'M HORTENSIA. ENCANTADA.
ENCANTADO. OH, THIS IS MY OLDEST.
AHH, LETICIA, OF COURSE.
THE SCHOOLTEACHER, RIGHT ? UH-HUH.
LET ME POUR YOU A CUP OF COFFEE. [ Hortensia ] STILL NOT MARRIED ?
NO. UH, I MEAN, YES, I'M NOT MARRIED.
OH, AND A NICE GIRL LIKE YOU.
YOU MIGHT WANT TO TRY A LITTLE PREPARATION H AROUND THE EYES. GETS RID OF THOSE LITTLE LINES.
ANYWAY, ONCE YOU'RE PAST THE SEX, MARRIAGE ISN'T ALL THAT INTERESTING.
ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE CRAZY ENOUGH TO MARRY A REAL LOSER LIKE YOLANDA DID.
-MOTHER ! -WELL, YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN TO ME. NOW LOOK WHERE YOU ARE.
[ Forced Laugh ]
I LEFT SOMETHING IN THE CAR. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
WELL, WE ALL LEARN FROM OUR MISTAKES.
WHY, YES, OF COURSE.
IT'S JUST THAT, AS A PARENT, IT'S SO PAINFUL TO WATCH YOUR CHILD SUFFER NEEDLESSLY.
WELL, YOU AND I KNOW A FEW THINGS ABOUT RAISING DAUGHTERS.
WELL, I'M STILL LEARNING. YOU SEE, IF-- GOOD MORNING.
- THIS IS MY-- - [ Hortensia ] YOUR YOUNGEST. MARIBEL.
- HI. - HI. [ Kissing Sound ]
AND WHAT ARE YOU REBELLING AGAINST, DEAR ?
PEOPLE WHO TALK AND TALK AND TALK AND SAY NOTHING.
CAREFUL, HONEY. BOYS DON'T LIKE SMART-ASSES.
YEAH, THEY JUST LIKE ASSES. HEY, HEY.
[ Stammers, Clears Throat ]
IT'S HARD TO TELL, BUT I DID TEACH HER MANNERS.
JUST DON'T WAIT TOO LONG LIKE YOUR BIG SISTER. SHE'S ALREADY OVER THE HILL.
SUGAR ? SI, POR FAVOR.
LIFE IS BITTER ENOUGH. [ Footsteps Approaching ]
CARMEN.
AHH, AND YOU MUST BE CARMENCITA.
AND YOU MUST BE YOLANDA'S MOTHER. THERE'S NO PROBLEM HERE.
JUST REMEMBER, WHEN YOU'RE AS PRETTY AS YOU ARE,
A MAN ISN'T CAPABLE OF TELLING THE TRUTH. [ Laughs ]
I'M LATE FOR A MEETING. I'M SORRY, I GOTTA GO. IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU.
ME TOO.
UH, UH, JUST WAIT. JUST-- [ Clears Throat ]
[ Chuckles, Sighs ] DAUGHTERS.
AND THEY SAY THAT BOYS ARE HARDER TO RAISE.
OH ! WHAT'S THIS ?
OH, MY. [ Chuckling ] IT'S NOT MINE.
A MAN'S WORK IS NEVER DONE.
YOLANDA TELLS ME THAT YOU MAKE A COCONUT FLAN THAT BRINGS A WOMAN TO TEARS.
MMM.
HERE WE ARE, SIR. ...ANYTHING UNTIL I GET THERE, OKAY ?
HI. THANK YOU FOR MEETING ME, MS. NARANJO.
MY PLEASURE. I'VE BEEN LOOKING--
DON'T WORRY, I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT AS SOON AS I ARRIVE, OKAY ? BYE.
SORRY, BUT I'M FLYING EARLIER THAN I EXPECTED.
NO PROBLEM. SO ?
SO, ACCORDING TO MY ANALYSIS,
PETERSEN'S AIR, RAIL AND TRUCKING LINKS ARE ALL VERY STRONG,
BUT THOSE ASSETS ARE FAR OUTWEIGHED BY THE COMPANY'S FINANCIAL LIABILITIES...
AND A CARGO FLEET THAT NEEDS MORE WORK THAN THEY'VE ALLOWED FOR IN THEIR PROJECTIONS.
ARE YOU TELLING ME THE COMPANY'S A DOG ? BOTTOM LINE, YES.
WELL, I COULD HAVE READ THAT IN THE JOURNAL.
DON'T WORRY. YOU'LL BE PAID FOR IT.
WHY BOTHER HIRING ME IF YOU'RE PLANNING TO PURCHASE PETERSEN ANYWAY ?
EXCUSE ME ?
I THINK YOU'VE ALREADY DECIDED TO PURCHASE THE COMPANY.
HOW DID YOU ARRIVE AT THAT THEORY ?
WELL, LAST MONTH'S WINE AND GOURMET MAGAZINE HAD A PICTURE OF YOU...
DINING IN SAN FRANCISCO WITH HARLAN RICHTER, THE PATENT ATTORNEY.
SO ?
SO, PETERSEN'S SHIPS AND TRUCKS ARE ALL FITTED WITH PATENTED SATELLITE TRACKING DEVICES.
I THINK THAT YOU'RE INTERESTED IN ACQUIRING THE COMPANY JUST SO YOU CAN GET THE PATENT.
OH, YOU MEAN A CLASSIC BAIT AND SWITCH ? EXACTLY.
IT COULD BE A HUGE MARKET.
THEY HAVE THE POTENTIAL TO TRACK ALL KINDS OF CONSUMER PRODUCTS,
INCLUDING LUGGAGE, COMPUTERS,
PALM PILOTS, CELL PHONES, YOU NAME IT.
GOOD EFFORT. BUT HARLAN RICHTER HAPPENS TO BE A FRIEND OF MINE,
AND I'M REALLY JUST INTERESTED IN THE SHIPS.
BYE.
LET'S GO. [ Plane Door Closes ]
THE SECOND TYPE OF CHEMICAL REACTION IS A COMPOSITION REACTION.
WE ALL HATE THE SMELL OF AMMONIA, DON'T WE ?
HMM ? SO NITROGEN AND HYDROGEN YIELD AMMONIA.
WHO ELSE CAN GIVE ME AN EXAMPLE OF A COMPOSITION REACTION ?
WHAT, NO HANDS ?
- [ Gasps ] - [ Class Laughing ]
WHO WANTS TO RETURN THE BALL ? [ All ] I DO !
ARMS DOWN. I'LL DO IT.
[ Man Shouting ] THERE YOU GO ! I'M TRYING TO TEACH UP HERE.
I'M SORRY. OH, LOOK WHAT WE DID TO YOUR WINDOW.
HEY, DID ANYBODY GET HURT UP THERE ?
NO, JUST HUMILIATED. OH, WELL.
HUMILIATED. YOU OUGHTA SEE HOW MY CATCHER FEELS.
I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HE COULD THROW THAT FAR.
SO, UH, [ Exhales ]
YOU GONNA KEEP THAT BALL AS A SOUVENIR ?
I MEAN, YOU CAN. WE GOT MORE.
- OW ! - [ Class Laughing ]
[ Boy ] LOVE IS A CHEMICAL REACTION, MISS NARANJO.
PLEASE TELL ME YOU KNOW WHAT H20 IS. [ Giggles ]
WAITING FOR EDEN ?
WAITING FOR YOU.
COME ON.
[ Engine Starts ] WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO ?
BRAZIL. BRAZIL. OKAY.
WHAT'S THIS ? IT'S A FIGA, A GOOD LUCK CHARM.
HAS IT BROUGHT YOU ANY LUCK ? I'M WITH YOU, AREN'T I ?
HMM.
RED LIGHTS ARE SUCH A WASTE OF TIME, DON'T YOU THINK ?
YOU JUST SIT AND WAIT... WITH NOTHING TO DO.
[ Horn Honks ] SHH !
[ Honking Continues ]
HI. [ Engine Stops ]
WE NEVER MET UP CLOSE. I'M ORLANDO CASTILLO, THE NEW BASEBALL COACH.
LETICIA NARANJO.
YOU, UH, TEACH SCIENCE, RIGHT ?
CHEMISTRY. OH.
UH... NICE BICEPS.
- PARDON ? - YOU WORK OUT ?
NO. OH, TOO BAD.
'CAUSE YOU KNOW, YOU COULD IMPROVE YOUR TRICEPS IF YOU WOULD WORK OUT.
[ Engine Starts ]
SURPRISE, SURPRISE.
MMM. [ Kissing Sound ]
FELT LIKE COOKING.
[ Carmen Laughing ]
[ Jeff ] YOU COOKED ENOUGH FOR AN ARMY.
[ Carmen ] TRY THIS.
MMM. THAT'S DELICIOUS.
IS THAT ONE OF YOUR DAD'S SPECIALTIES ?
IT'S MY VERSION.
IT'S TAMARIND-GLAZED LAMB ON CUMIN CABBAGE WITH A TANGERINE SALSA.
THE LAMB IS FRENCH- SOUTH AMERICAN, THE CABBAGE IS PURE MEXICAN...
AND THE SALSA'S CARIBBEAN.
[ Jeff ] WHAT WILL THEY CALL THIS ?
I DON'T KNOW. DAD CALLS MY DISHES "MUTTS."
OH.
"NUEVO LATINO." HMM.
I LIKE THAT. YEAH.
YOU KNOW, I BET IF YOUR DAD WOULD JUST TRY IT,
HE WOULD DEFINITELY BE SOLD.
YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS LITTLE, HE USED TO BAKE ME BRACELETS OUT OF COOKIE DOUGH.
AND THEN HE WOULD MAKE ME RINGS AND HE WOULD PAINT THEM...
WITH COLORED SUGAR TO MAKE THEM SPARKLE.
WHOA. DID YOU SEE THAT ? THAT'S NOT STABLE.
I'M GONNA GO CHECK THIS OUT. MIGHT BE THE LEG.
[ Laughs ] IT'S THE LEG.
YEAH. COME HERE. [ Giggling ]
[ Softly ] HI.
[ Chuckles ] HI.
[ Inhales ]
[ Exhales ]
[ Heavy Breathing ]
¡ HOLA ! MIND IF I JOIN YOU ?
OF COURSE.
[ Exhales ] WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY.
YES, IT IS.
[ Exhales ] OH, I NEED TO STRETCH. OKAY ?
ALL RIGHT. YEAH. ALL RIGHT. READY ?
AND... ONE. [ Grunts ]
AND... TWO. THIS WAY. ALL RIGHT.
AND... THREE. YEP, AND THREE.
OHH ! I FEEL SO MUCH BETTER. COME ON. YEAH !
UH-OH, RED LIGHT.
WOO-HOO !
[ Chattering ] ANA MARIA, YOU NEED TO REVIEW PAGE 172, OKAY ?
"LETICIA, HAD WE BUT WORLD ENOUGH AND TIME,
"THIS COYNESS, LADY, WERE NO CRIME.
"WE WOULD SIT DOWN AND THINK WHICH WAY TO WALK...
AND PASS OUR LONG LOVE'S DAY."
LONG LOVE'S DAY.
[ Phone Ringing ] [ Carmen ] HELLO ?
[ Woman ] CARMEN, MR. URGELL FLEW BACK FROM SAN FRANCISCO TODAY.
HE WANTS TO MEET NOW. OKAY. DID YOU CHANGE MY APPOINTMENT ?
HE ASKED DIRECTIONS TO THE MARKET.
WHAT ? YOU GAVE HIM THE ADDRESS ? [ Scoffs ]
HE'S COMING THERE TO MEET YOU. WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE'S COMING...
THAT'S WHAT I SAID. CARMEN ? HERE ?
THANKS FOR THE ADVANCE NOTICE, SHARON. CARMEN ?
HI. MR. URGELL.
OH, PLEASE, CALL ME ANTONIO.
MAY I HELP YOU ? SURE.
UH-HUH. SO THIS IS WHERE YOU GET YOUR GREAT IDEAS.
YOU WERE WRONG ASSUMING WHAT I WAS THINKING THE OTHER DAY.
BUT YOUR INSTINCTS COULD BE RIGHT... AND YOUR TIMING IS PERFECT.
- SO PERFECT, IN FACT-- - THAT YOU'RE THINKING OF BUYING PETERSEN ?
OH, JUST TO GET THE PATENTS.
[ Clears Throat ]
[ Woman Laughing ] [ Chattering ]
SO, UM, WOULD YOU LIKE-- I'LL MAKE YOU A LIST.
YEAH, MAKE ME A LIST. LET ME KNOW WHATEVER YOU WANT.
PASS ME THE RICE, PLEASE.
AM I HALLUCINATING, OR ARE WE HAVING A PLEASANT DINNER ?
HERE. THANK YOU.
WELL, I HAVE SOME NEWS.
OH, WELL. YOU MOVING OUT ?
NOT YET. DID YOU CLOSE ESCROW ?
YES, BUT THAT'S NOT WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY-- WHEN ARE YOU MOVING ?
MARIBEL, PLEASE. WHY CAN'T I SAY ANYTHING ?
I'VE BEEN OFFERED A JOB IN A NEW COMPANY. ALL RIGHT.
OH ! CONGRATULATIONS.
IN BARCELONA. WOW.
[ Leticia ] SPAIN ? YES.
- THAT'S FAR. - NOT FAR ENOUGH FOR ME.
I GUESS IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW FAR IT IS. THE DISTANCE ISN'T IMPORTANT.
WHAT MATTERS IS... IS IT A GOOD OPPORTUNITY ?
WELL, IT'S THE KIND OF OPPORTUNITY YOU'VE ALWAYS WANTED FOR ME, DAD.
I WOULD BE RUNNING A HIGH-TECH START-UP COMPANY...
AND THE MONEY IS MORE THAN I EVER DREAMED.
WHAT ABOUT THE CONDO ?
I'LL RENT IT OUT. IT CAN PAY FOR ITSELF.
[ Clears Throat ] [ Doorbell Chimes ]
[ Hortensia ] ♪ SORPRESA ♪♪
EXCUSE ME.
[ Clears Throat ]
[ Hortensia ] LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT. [ Martin ] MUSIC.
♪♪ [ Latin ]
FOR SOME REASON, I'VE NEVER BEEN ABLE TO FIND THE RIGHT MAN.
THAT'S HARD TO BELIEVE. [ Laughs ] WELL, MY FIRST HUSBAND, OSCAR ?
MM-HMM ? HE WAS A WOMANIZER.
HE JUST COULDN'T KEEP HIS COSITA IN HIS PANTS.
AND THEN THERE WAS GUSTAVO. OH ?
HE WAS A REAL ARTIST. MM-HMM. MM-HMM ?
HE LIKED THE OPERA AND THE BALLET.
HE ALSO LIKED TO DRESS IN TUTUS.
[ Martin, Hortensia Laughing ]
THEN THERE WAS MY THIRD HUSBAND, PEDRO.
IN THE MIDDLE OF MAKING LOVE, HE HAD A HEART ATTACK AND DIED.
I'M SO SORRY. JUST LIKE THAT.
I'M SORRY. SORRY.
AND YOUR WIFE ?
SHE PASSED AWAY 15 YEARS AGO.
- AND YOU NEVER REMARRIED. - WELL, NO, NOT WITH WORKING...
AND RAISING THREE GIRLS, IT'S--
[ Chuckles ] I LIKE A MACHO CON PRIORITIES.
THE SPANGLISH WILL DEFINITELY GET ON HIS NERVES.
[ Sighs ] IT WOULD BE NICE IF HE FOUND SOMEONE, THOUGH.
YEAH. SOMEONE ELSE.
OH, MARTIN !
ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? [ Hortensia ] CLARO.
OH, MARTIN. [ Giggles ] WHOOP ! WHOOP !
[ Hortensia Giggling ]
OH, I THINK I'VE HAD TOO MUCH TO DRINK.
"HER FACE, HER TONGUE, HER WIT.
SO FAIR, SO SHARP--" [ Soft Knock On Door ]
YOURS MADE IT INTO MY DRAWERS. DAD IS GETTING WORSE AND WORSE.
HE SHOULD JUST LET US SORT OUR OWN LAUNDRY.
I PUT, UM, YOUR... STUFF IN YOUR ROOM.
THEY'RE CALLED THONGS, LETI. COME ON. YOU CAN SAY IT.
THONGS. THEY'RE NOT THE WORK OF THE DEVIL, YOU KNOW.
THEY LOOK EXTREMELY UNCOMFORTABLE.
OH, ON THE CONTRARY. YOU KNOW, THEY KIND OF MASSAGE YOU ALL DAY.
INSPIRING ALL KINDS OF... THOUGHTS.
THE ONLY THING I NEED FLOSSED ARE MY TEETH. THANK YOU.
NO ! NO ! NO ! [ Laughing ]
NO ! NO ! [ Continues Laughing ]
[ Annoyed Sigh ] TOO LATE. I ALREADY SAW THEM.
SO WHO'S THE BARD, HUH ? THE DRAMA TEACHER ? SOCIAL STUDIES ?
IT'S THAT SECURITY GUARD WITH THE BROKEN NOSE AND CAULIFLOWERED EARS.
HE'S ALWAYS HAD A THING FOR YOU. OH, VERY FUNNY.
LETI, WHAT DO YOU HAVE--
YOU PUT PREPARATION H AROUND YOUR EYES ? GET OUT !
[ Laughs ] OH ! GET OUT ! GET OUT ! GET OUT ! GET OUT !
[ Panting ]
MISS APRIL !
HI ! GOOD MORNING, MISS APRIL. HOW ARE YOU ?
GOOD. IS THAT YOUR BREAKFAST ?
UM, MOM DIDN'T HAVE TIME TO MAKE ME ANYTHING.
- THEY SERVE PIZZA DOGS IN THE CAFETERIA. - [ Groans ]
LET ME TELL YOU. HOW WOULD YOU LIKE IT IF I BROUGHT YOU LUNCH ONCE IN A WHILE ?
A COUPLE OF MAIN COURSES AND SOME PORCUPINE COOKIES.
YEAH ! ALL RIGHT.
BUT MY MOM MAKES ME LUNCH SOMETIMES.
AHH. WELL, THEN WE'LL TRADE.
YOU GIVE ME YOURS. THAT WAY, YOUR MOM WON'T BE EMBARRASSED.
OKAY.
YOUR BUS.
GO ON.
GOOD-BYE. THANK YOU. BYE, NOW. BE CAREFUL.
WOW. SO FRENCH, PORTUGUESE AND GERMAN AND ENGLISH ?
WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT ? YOU'RE, UM-- UM.
WHAT IS THAT WHEN SOMEBODY SPEAKS SEVERAL LANGUAGES ? UH, A POLYGLOT.
CORRECT. HOW ABOUT TWO LANGUAGES ?
THAT'S EASY, UH, BILINGUAL. RIGHT ?
ONE LANGUAGE ?
[ Snaps Finger ] UH-- [ Stammers ]
[ Laughs ] I DON'T-- I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T THINK I KNOW THAT ONE.
AMERICAN. I'M JUST KIDDING.
I'M AMERICAN, AND I SPEAK TWO.
BOTH AT THE SAME TIME, ON TOP OF IT. IT DRIVES MY DAD CRAZY. HE'S A PURIST.
I LOVE THIS ! [ Laughing ]
CONTEMPORARY FOLK SONGS. OKAY, MR. BOSSA NOVA, WHAT IS THAT ?
I DON'T KNOW. I GOT IT-- IT CAME LIKE THIS IN-- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.
"OH, I NEVER SAW THEM BEFORE. THEY JUST CAME LIKE-- THEY CAME WITH THE APARTMENT."
OKAY, WHATEVER. [ Squeals ]
[ Sighs ] I LOVE YOUR PLACE. [ Shrieks, Laughs ]
THANK YOU.
WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO COME TO THE STATES ?
I-- I DIDN'T WANT TO GO STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE.
THERE'S A WHOLE WORLD OUT THERE, AND I HAD TO SEE IT, YOU KNOW ?
HOW LONG ARE YOU PLANNING ON STAYING ?
I DON'T KNOW. I THINK IF YOU TELL LIFE WHAT IT HAS TO BE, YOU LIMIT IT.
BUT IF YOU LET IT SHOW YOU WHAT IT WANTS TO BE,
IT WILL OPEN DOORS YOU NEVER KNEW EXISTED.
YEAH. AND YOUR PARENTS ARE COOL WITH THAT ?
TOTALLY.
WOW. BRAZIL MUST BE THE OPPOSITE OF MEXICO.
[ Students Chattering In Distance ]
[ Gasps ]
OHH !
"GATHER YE ROSEBUD WHILE YE MAY,
"OLD TIME IS STILL A-FLYING, AND THIS SAME FLOWER THAT SMILES TODAY,
TOMORROW WILL BE DYING" ?
SO DO YOU LIVE NEAR A RAIN FOREST ?
NO. WHERE I'M FROM IS TOO FAR BELOW THE EQUATOR TO BE TROPICAL.
IN FACT, I HATE JULY BECAUSE IT'S OUR COLDEST MONTH.
JULY ? YEAH. THE SEASONS ARE OPPOSITE THERE.
WOW. SEASONS ARE OPPOSITE. PARENTS ARE OPPOSITE.
WHAT ELSE IS OPPOSITE BELOW THE EQUATOR ?
[ Screams, Giggles ]
I WOULD LIKE TO GO TO THIS OPPOSITE WORLD.
YEAH ? MM-HMM.
[ Bell Ringing ]
YOU HAVE TEN MINUTES TO SOLVE THE PROBLEM... [ Students Murmuring ]
BEFORE WE MOVE ON TO LAB.
[ Orlando ] ALL RIGHT, FELLAS, GATHER AROUND AND SIT.
PAY ATTENTION. NOW, YOUNG MEN, WHAT IS OUR PROBLEM, HUH ?
HERE'S WHAT HAPPENED IN THE LAST GAME.
YOU GUYS WERE OUT THERE, USING THE BAT...
LIKE IT'S A WALKING CANE, LIKE YOU'RE RAPPERS.
YOU'RE NOT RAPPERS ! YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO BE MOVING YOUR LEGS UP AND DOWN.
NOW THIS IS BASEBALL. IT'S MORE THAN A GAME. IT'S ABOUT LIFE.
IT'S ABOUT GETTING TO FIRST BASE. IT'S AN ART FORM.
DO YOU KNOW WHAT I'M TELLING YOU GUYS ? I'M TELLING YOU THAT I BE--
OKAY, WHAT I WAS TRYING TO TELL YOU IS... YOU'RE DOING A GOOD JOB.
DONE ? [ Students Protesting ]
[ Martin ] JUST LIKE I PROMISED YOU.
EMPANADITAS DE QUESO WITH PANUCHOS DE POLLO.
GREEN CORN TAMALES. HUH ?
ISN'T THAT PRETTY ? LOOKS LIKE A GARDEN.
YOU'RE REALLY GONNA LIKE THIS ONE.
TOMATOES STUFFED WITH GUACAMOLE.
LITTLE TOMATITOS, ALLI STUFFED WITH GUACAMOLE.
VERY SPECIAL. WHERE ARE THE PORCUPINE COOKIES ?
I KNEW YOU WERE GONNA ASK THAT. HERE.
THERE THEY ARE. BUT THIS IS AT THE END. YOU CAN'T EAT THAT FIRST, RIGHT ?
CAN I HAVE A BITE ? I'LL TRADE YOU MY POKEMON CARD FOR THE COOKIES.
[ April ] YOU SHOULD OPEN A RESTAURANT.
I'LL THINK ABOUT THAT. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
[ Chattering In Spanish ]
HERE. HERE, TASTE THIS.
[ Muttering ] IT'S TOO SALTY ? HMM ?
TOO SPICY ? WHAT ?
COME ON. DON'T-- DON'T MAKE THOSE FACES.
IS IT TOO SALTY ? TOO SPICY ? WHAT ? WHAT IS--
GOMEZ ? [ Man ] WHAT HAPPENED ?
I JUST HEARD. IMAGINE THAT, HUH ?
I ALMOST GOT KILLED BY MY OWN FART. OH.
[ Laughing ] AY. LOOK AT HER. MIRA PA' AHI.
SEEMS LIKE YESTERDAY SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL,
FOLLOWING ME ALL OVER THE KITCHEN.
YEAH, UNTIL HE KICKED ME OUT.
I JUST WANTED YOU TO DO SOMETHING SIGNIFICANT WITH YOUR LIFE.
YOU DIDN'T THINK A WOMAN WOULD MAKE A GOOD CHEF.
I DIDN'T SEND MY DAUGHTER TO GRADUATE SCHOOL SO SHE COULD MAKE TORTILLAS.
IS THAT ALL YOU DO IS MAKE TORTILLAS ?
YOU WANNA SPEND YOUR LIFE IN A KITCHEN LIKE ME ? OH, H-HELLO ? HEY.
I'M SUPPOSED TO BE THE CENTER OF ATTENTION HERE, OKAY ?
SORRY. SORRY. [ Muttering ]
YOU KNOW WHAT I WENT THROUGH TO GIVE HER THE OPPORTUNITIES I NEVER HAD.
HERE WE GO WITH THE IMMIGRANT STORY. THIS IS NOT AN IMMIGRANT STORY.
THIS IS NOT WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. MARTIN, PLEASE GO OUTSIDE AND--
YOU KNOW-- PLEASE GO AND GET ME SOME ICE.
PLEASE, I NEED SOME ICE.
ALL RIGHT. SO YOU TWO CAN JUST TALK BEHIND MY BACK, RIGHT ?
OF COURSE. WHAT ELSE ?
LOOK, IT'S-- GET--
[ Chuckles ]
HE JUST WANTS TO SPARE YOU OUR KIND OF LIFE, BABY, THAT'S ALL.
WHAT LIFE, HUH ? DOING WHAT I LOVE ?
LISTEN. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.
LOOK. I REMEMBER, WHEN, UH, WHEN WE STARTED OUR RESTAURANT.
SOME OF THE CUSTOMERS WOULD COMPLAIN...
THAT THE MOLE SAUCES WERE TOO HOT...
OR THAT THEY WANTED THEM ON THE SIDE, AND YOUR FATHER WOULDN'T BUDGE.
HE WAS, LIKE, UNCOMPROMISING...
WHEN PEOPLE WANTED HIM TO CHANGE ANYTHING.
I KNOW, I KNOW. YOU'RE NOT TELLING ME ANYTHING NEW.
WELL, WHAT I'M TRYING TO TELL YOU IS...
THAT THINGS GOT VERY DIFFICULT.
OKAY ? VERY, VERY DIFFICULT.
THE DAY YOUR MOTHER DIED,
SO SUDDEN LIKE THAT,
HE BLAMED HIMSELF, HE BLAMED THE KITCHEN, HE BLAMED THE RESTAURANT.
I KNOW, BUT I'M NOT LIKE HIM.
YOU KNOW, I'M NOT AFRAID OF CHANGE. YOU KNOW THAT.
YEAH. AND LOOK AT YOU. HUH ?
YOUR FATHER'S MORE PROUD OF YOU THAN ANYTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD.
[ Scoffs ]
HE'S JUST THE TYPE THAT DOESN'T EXPRESS HIS FEELINGS, THAT'S ALL. OKAY ?
HE'S NOT LIKE TIO GOMEZ.
TIO GOMEZ IS A-- IS A GUY WHO, WHO CRIES WHEN HE WATCHES TELENOVELAS.
I KNOW. LOOK AT ME. I'M CRYING NOW.
I KNOW YOU'RE CRYING NOW.
[ Leticia ] DEAR JESUS, THANK YOU FOR THE GIFTS.
DEAR, DEAR LORD, OPEN OUR EYES...
AND BE OUR GUIDE AS WE THANK YOU,
DEAR LORD, LORD JESUS CHRIST.
AMEN. AMEN.
MARIBEL TELLS US YOU'RE FROM BRAZIL ? YES.
TAKE THIS. OH, THANK YOU.
WELL, THE ONLY WHITE BRAZILIANS I KNOW ARE...
NAZI WAR CRIMINALS. [ Maribel ] DAD !
[ Chuckles ]
THERE PROBABLY WERE A FEW, BUT MOST, UH, GERMAN IMMIGRANTS...
WENT TO BRAZIL BETWEEN THE WARS, MAINLY BECAUSE OF THE DEPRESSION IN EUROPE.
ANDY'S HALF GERMAN, HALF ITALIAN.
OH ! OH.
LIKE THE ARGENTINIANS. THEY ALWAYS LIKE TO BRAG ABOUT THEIR EUROPEAN HERITAGE.
MMM, MMM, MMM. THIS IS AMAZING.
I CAN'T EVEN DESCRIBE IT. IT'S REALLY INCREDIBLE.
SO, YOU LIKE PULPO A LA VERACRUZANA ? LIKE IT ?
I LOVE IT. REALLY. IT'S INCREDIBLE.
[ Chuckles ] I MEAN, MARIBEL TOLD ME YOU WERE A CHEF,
BUT I'D SAY YOU ARE MORE LIKE AN ARTIST.
- OH ! - ARTIST. [ Chuckles ]
- THAT'S VERY GENEROUS OF YOU. - YOU'RE SO LUCKY. DINNER LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME.
OBRIGADO, MEU AMIGO. MUITO OBRIGADO.
[ Speaking Portuguese ] VOCE FALA PORTUGUES MUITO BEM.
NO. BUT, UH, TELL ME-- TELL ME SOME MORE ABOUT YOUR COUNTRY.
IS IT TRUE THAT THERE ARE MORE JAPANESE WOMEN... I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
THAN ANYWHERE ELSE, OUTSIDE OF JAPAN ?
IT'S DELICIOUS. IT'S NOT OVERCOOKED. IT'S OVERCOOKED.
DO YOU KNOW MEXICAN CUISINE ? [ Andy ] NOT AS MUCH AS I'D LIKE,
BUT I DO KNOW THAT IT'S ONE OF THE MAJOR CUISINES OF THE WORLD.
WELL, YOU SHOULD COME BACK NEXT WEEK, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
BECAUSE I'M GONNA MAKE SOMETHING VERY, VERY SPECIAL.
I DECIDED TO POSTPONE COLLEGE.
YEAH-- WHAT ?
WHAT WAS THAT ?
I DECIDED NOT TO GO STRAIGHT TO COLLEGE.
I WANT TO TAKE OFF A YEAR OR TWO FIRST.
OH, WELL--
WELL, MAY I ASK WHY ?
I WANT TO FIND MYSELF.
FIND YOURSELF. WELL, YOU WON'T HAVE TO LOOK FAR. [ Laughs ]
YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN, DAD.
NO, I DON'T.
YOU'VE APPLIED, YOU'VE BEEN ACCEPTED, YOU'RE GOING TO COLLEGE.
END OF DISCUSSION. NO, I'M NOT.
BEGINNING OF DRAMA.
NOW, LISTEN TO ME, YOUNG LADY. WHY CAN'T I...
DECIDE WHAT TO DO WITH MY LIFE ?
BECAUSE AS LONG AS YOU'RE LIVING UNDER MY ROOF, YOU WILL DO AS I SAY. YOU UNDERSTAND ?
FINE. FINE.
THAT'S JUST FINE ! 'CAUSE I'M MOVING IN WITH ANDY.
- WHAT ? - WHAT ?
DAD. DAD.
WHAT ?
YOU SIT AT MY TABLE AND MAKE A FOOL OF ME...
- WHILE YOU'RE SCHEMING TO TAKE MY DAUGHTER AWAY ? - I WASN'T SCHEMING.
- I JUST WANT TO FIND OUT WHO I AM. IS THAT A CRIME ? - YOU'RE MARIBEL NARANJO !
THAT'S WHO YOU ARE ! I DON'T WANT YOU TO TELL ME !
I WANT TO FIND OUT FOR MYSELF, OR ELSE I'M GONNA BE WHO YOU WANT ME TO BE, JUST LIKE CARMEN.
WHO-- WHOA, WHOA. WHAT ? SIR--
I NEVER WANTED YOU TO BE ANYTHING, ANYBODY. WHY ARE YOU...
SO AFRAID TO CONFRONT HIM ? YOU SEE WHAT YOU'RE DOING TO YOUR SISTER ?
- SHE DOES IT TO HERSELF, DAD ! - I AM NOT AFRAID, MARIBEL.
THIS IS THE FIRST TIME I EVER HEAR OF ANYTHING--
WHOA ! STOP IT !
WAY TO GO, LETI.
YOU OKAY ?
OH-- UH, WH--
[ Chuckling ] NO WONDER APRIL'S LUNCH BOX IS COMING BACK EMPTY.
GUILTY.
WHAT HAPPENS TO THE LUNCHES THAT I MAKE HER ?
WELL, LAST THURSDAY'S MEAT LOAF WASN'T BAD.
IT WAS-- [ Laughing ] OH, MY GOD.
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE EATING MY FOOD.
NO, DON'T WORRY. I DON'T HAVE MUCH IN THE WAY OF TASTE ANYMORE.
I HOPE NOT. [ Chuckles ] ANYWAY, IT'S THE FEELING THAT COUNTS.
[ Chuckles ]
IS, UH-- APRIL'S NOT GOING TO SCHOOL TODAY ?
UH, SHE'S A LITTLE UNDER THE WEATHER TODAY. OH, I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
WELL, SOMEBODY ELSE MAY AS WELL ENJOY IT.
HERE. FILETE RELLENO DE CABRILLA. OH !
THANK YOU.
UM, PLEASE DON'T TELL HER I KNOW.
SHE MUST ENJOY HER SECRET ENCOUNTERS WITH YOU.
[ Panting ]
[ Groaning ]
¡ DIOS ! [ Exhaling ]
LETI, DID YOU KNOW DAD WENT TO SEE A CARDIOLOGIST ?
LETI ? IN HERE.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING ?
I DON'T KNOW.
I'M STILL IN SHOCK.
OUR LITTLE SISTER.
I KNEW SHE WAS GOING OFF TO COLLEGE, BUT...
THAT'S NOT THE SAME AS MOVING OUT.
HAVE YOU SEEN DAD ?
YEAH. HE'S CATERING SOME AFFAIR.
WELL, HOW'D HE LOOK ? WELL, BETWEEN MARIBEL AND GOMEZ,
HE'S NOT LOOKING ALL THAT WELL.
YOU WANT SOME TEA ? YEAH.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE WONDERING ABOUT.
YOU THINK I'M OVERREACTING ? "OVERREACTING" ?
YEAH. UM, I'M CONCERNED ABOUT HOW HE IS PHYSICALLY.
[ Chuckles ]
IS THAT ALL YOU EVER THINK ABOUT, THE PHYSICAL PART ?
NO, I WAS JUST-- I'M SURE HE'S FINE PHYSICALLY.
HE'S THE NEW BASEBALL COACH.
PLAYED PROFESSIONALLY IN THE MINORS. NEVER BEEN MARRIED.
HIS NAME IS ORLANDO.
I HAD HIS FILES CHECKED BY A SECRETARY IN THE OFFICE.
OH. OH, I LOVE THAT YOU DID THAT.
DO YOU ? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE SUCH A--
A SNOOP ? GUESS IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY.
[ Giggling ]
HOW DO YOU GET YOUR HAIR TO, UM, DO THAT ?
OH, WE ARE GONNA BRING ORLANDO TO HIS KNEES.
NO. YOU'RE NOT GONNA MAKE ME WEAR A--
MM-HMM. MM-HMM.
[ Giggling ]
OW !
♪ AMADO MIO ♪
♪ LOVE ME FOREVER ♪
[ Wolf Whistle ] ♪ AND LET FOREVER ♪
♪ BEGIN TONIGHT ♪ [ Chattering, Laughing ]
♪ AMADO MIO ♪
♪ WHEN WE'RE TOGETHER ♪
♪ I'M IN A DREAM WORLD ♪
♪ OF SWEET DELIGHT ♪
HI.
♪♪ [ Song Continues ] HEY, ARE YOU OKAY ? 'CAUSE YOU'RE WALKING A LITTLE FUNNY.
YOU KNOW, I COULD TEACH YOU EXERCISES TO STRETCH OUT, IF YOU WANT.
TO GIVE YOU BETTER BALANCE, YOU KNOW ?
THEY'RE SIMPLE. YOU CAN DO 'EM ON A CHAIR...
OR ON THE TABLE. ♪♪ [ Song Continues Through Headphones ]
SO, IF YOU'RE INTERESTED, YOU KNOW, YOU LET ME KNOW.
OKAY ?
ON THE TABLE.
[ Murmuring ]
"I PRAY THEE, GENTLE MORTAL SING AGAIN:
"AND THY FAIR VIRTUE'S FORCE PERFORCE...
"DOTH MOVE ME ON THE FIRST VIEW TO SAY, TO SWEAR...
I LOVE THEE."
[ Sighs ]
OKAY, BILLY, JUST LIKE WE TOLD YOU IN PRACTICE.
KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL AND MAKE CONTACT. OH, YES !
THAT'S CONTACT ! THAT'S WHAT I BEEN TALKING ABOUT !
THAT'S BILLY BOY ! THAT'S MY BOY !
[ Crowd Shouting ]
HEY, LADY, WE'RE PLAYING A GAME HERE !
[ Fan ] WHATCHA DOIN' ? HEY, LADY, GET OFF !
YES.
"YES."
THE POEMS.
I LOVE YOU TOO.
[ Crowd Applauding ]
[ Cheering ]
WHAT POEMS ?
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING, WRITING NOTES LIKE THAT, HUH ?
YOU OUGHTA BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELVES.
OH-- [ Sniffles ]
I'M SORRY IF THOSE JERKS HURT YOUR FEELINGS.
I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF--
IF I COULD THINK OF THINGS LIKE THAT,
IF I WERE A KIND OF GUY WHO COULD WRITE THINGS LIKE THAT, I--
I WOULD HAVE WRITTEN THOSE POEMS MYSELF.
[ Sobbing ]
PLEASE, PLEASE, DON'T CRY.
MY MAKEUP'S RUNNING. [ Sniffling ]
THAT'S OKAY. I LIKE YOU BETTER WITHOUT IT.
BUT I HAVE THESE LITTLE WRINKLES AROUND MY EYES.
WHERE ?
I DON'T SEE ANY WRINKLES.
♪ I WANT YOU EVER ♪
♪ I LOVE MY DARLING ♪
♪ WANTING TO HOLD YOU ♪
♪ AND HOLD YOU TIGHT ♪♪
HI. [ Giggles ] WOW.
WELL, WHAT DO YOU THINK ? BETTER, RIGHT ?
CAN YOU ? THANK YOU.
YOU WON'T BELIEVE HOW GROSS THE LAUNDRY ROOM WAS.
I HAD TO RUN THE WASHER WITH HOT WATER AND BLEACH FOR A WHOLE CYCLE TO DISINFECT IT.
DID YOU SEE MY PAPERS ? THE ONES THAT WERE ON THE BED. WHAT PAPERS ?
YES. THEY ARE IN THE DESKTOP ORGANIZER THAT I BOUGHT.
[ Sighs ] I HAD THEM SPREAD OUT FOR A REASON.
YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO DO THAT IN A STUDIO APARTMENT. THERE'S NOT ENOUGH SPACE.
[ Swearing In Portuguese ] THERE USED TO BE.
WHAT, SWEETIE ? NOTHING.
♪♪ [ Salsa Plays On Stereo ] ♪♪ [ Humming ]
HOPE YOU LIKE YOUR SANGRIA FRUITY. OH, YES, I DO.
BUT TELL ME, WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING ?
YOLANDA'S GETTING CUSTODY OF APRIL.
HER DIVORCE CAME THROUGH TODAY. ISN'T THAT GREAT ?
THANK GOD I COULD BE HERE WITH HER. THAT'S VERY GOOD NEWS.
YES. I'M JUST A LITTLE WORRIED STILL.
SHE'S A SINGLE MOTHER NOW, AND SHE HAS ABSOLUTELY NO PROFESSIONAL SKILLS.
SHE KEEPS TELLING ME THAT SHE'S GOT EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL,
BUT I DON'T SEE HER DOING ANYTHING.
ANYWAY... THE WORST IS, UH, IS OVER.
GOOD. IT'S ALL VERY GOOD, THEN.
HERE WE ARE. ALL RIGHT.
SO, WHAT ARE YOUR PLANS NOW THAT YOU'VE...
ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING YOU CAME HERE TO DO ?
OH, WELL-- [ Laughs ]
I'M NOT AT ALL CERTAIN THAT I HAVE ACCOMPLISHED WHAT I CAME HERE TO DO, MARTIN.
[ Both Laughing ]
DEAR LORD JESUS,
PLEASE HELP ME.
[ Inhaling ] PLEASE, PLEASE GIVE ME THE STRENGTH...
TO MAKE HIM UNDERSTAND JUST, JUST--
PLEASE, JUST, JUST HELP ME, DEAR LORD JESUS CHRIST ALMIGHTY UP IN HEAVEN.
[ Inhaling ] MY DEAR JESUS, JUST-- JUST GIVE ME STRENGTH--
LETICIA.
LETICIA, WHY ARE YOU PRAYING SO HARD ?
AMEN. [ Carmen ] AMEN.
MM.
[ Martin Clears Throat ]
I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
[ Clears Throat ]
YES ?
WELL, I, UH--
I, UH--
WE JUST COULDN'T WAIT.
I MEAN, HE WANTED TO, AND I-I WANTED TO, TOO, AND--
AND W-W-WE-WE...
REALLY WANTED TO DO IT PROPERLY, DAD, BUT--
IT JUST WOULDN'T-- IT WAS SO--
HOLD ON. OKAY ? JUST-- JUST ONE MINUTE.
WHERE ARE YOU ?
PSST. OH !
OH, COME ON. DO I LOOK OKAY ?
YEAH. YOU LOOK GREAT.
DAD ?
CARMEN, UM,
I WANT YOU TO MEET ORLANDO CASTILLO...
ORLANDO CASTILLO, SENOR. MUCHO GUSTO. MY HUSBAND.
PLACER... YOUR WHAT ? MUCHO GUSTO.
YOUR HUSBAND ?
YOU SEE, ORLANDO AND I-- WELL, SIR,
I-I REALIZE THAT THIS IS TOO LATE,
BUT I WOULD LIKE TO TAKE THIS OPPORTUNITY...
TO ASK FOR YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE ? WELL, OR-ORLANDO AND I MET AND--
WELL, WHAT I-- WELL-- [ Stammering ]
WELL, NO, WHAT IT IS IS THAT,
A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO, SIR, WE GOT OURSELVES INTO THIS SITUATION...
NO, I-I DON'T-- THAT I HOPE-- I HOPE YOU UNDERSTAND.
I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD TELL HIM THAT PART. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE.
I'M JUST TRYING TO GET TO THE PLACE WHERE WE WENT TO LAS VEGAS.
LAS VEGAS ? YEAH, WE HAD TO GET MARRIED IN A HURRY.
I THOUGHT YOU WENT ON A RETREAT, LETI.
WELL, UNDER THOSE CIRCUMSTANCES, WE REALLY HAD NO-- NO CHOICE.
WHAT CIRCUMSTANCES ?
THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO EXPLAIN TO YOU, SIR--
THAT WE WERE, A COUPLE OF NIGHTS AGO, WE WERE TOGETHER AND--
I DON'T THINK HE NEEDS TO-- ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
UH, HERE, HAVE A SEAT.
[ Sighs ] SO, UH, ORLANDO, ARE YOU A CHRISTIAN ?
NO, I-- HE WILL BE.
DAD, MAY I ?
I LOVE TOPPINGS. I-- I'VE ALWAYS LIKED TOPPINGS.
SOMETIMES I GO TO RESTAURANTS AND I JUST ASK FOR TOPPINGS.
YOU KNOW, I-I SAY THE MORE TOPPINGS, THE MERRIER.
I-- THAT'S WHAT I SAY.
YOU LIKE TORTILLA SOUP ?
YES, YES, OF COURSE. M-MY MOTHER USED TO MAKE IT FOR US ALL THE TIME.
NO--
SHE NEVER MADE IT LIKE THIS.
THIS IS THE BEST-- BEST TORTILLA SOUP I-I'VE EVER HAD.
ORLANDO WAS IN THE DODGER FARM LEAGUE.
MM-HMM. MM-HMM. HERE.
YES, I-- I USED TO, UM, CATCH FOR FERNANDO VALENZUELA...
WHEN HE WAS IN THE SONORA LEAGUE IN, IN MEXICO.
I STILL KNOW SOME PEOPLE AT DODGER STADIUM, UM--
I COULD PROBABLY GET US SOME-- SOME BOX SEATS.
AND WE CAN SIT RIGHT OVER THE DUGOUT.
THEY'RE THE BEST SEATS IN DODGER STADIUM,
AND WE CAN SIT THERE AND HAVE HOT DOGS AND...
SODAS.
DO YOU LOVE HER ?
- EXCUSE ME ? - DO YOU LOVE HER ?
OH, YES, SIR, I DO.
I LOVE LETICIA VERY, VERY MUCH.
HOT DOGS AND SODAS.
[ Sighs ]
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT. YOU TAKE CARE OF THE TICKETS. I'LL TAKE CARE OF THE FOOD.
[ Carmen ] DAD.
[ Orlando Chuckles ] ALL RIGHT. PROVECHO.
CONGRATULATIONS.
WE'LL CELEBRATE SOME OTHER TIME, SERIOUSLY, ALL RIGHT ?
TRY SOME STUFFED CHIOTE.
THANKS FOR EVERYTHING, SIS.
I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU, LETI.
WHOA !
[ Laughing ]
[ Sighs ]
[ Slurping ]
[ Slurping Continues ]
YOU'RE LEANING. WHAT ?
TOWARDS THE BOWL.
HONEY, SPOON THE SOUP AWAY FROM YOURSELF AND THEN BRING IT UP TO YOUR MOUTH.
DON'T LEAN TOWARDS THE BOWL.
[ Chuckles ] I CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS.
WITH WHAT ? TABLE MANNERS ?
NO, BABY, WITH YOU TELLING ME WHAT TO DO EVERY SECOND OF THE DAY.
WITH YOU REARRANGING MY ENTIRE APARTMENT,
MAKING THE BED EVERY MORNING.
YOU'RE STILL MAD BECAUSE I MISPLACED YOUR PAPERS ?
IT'S NOT JUST MY PAPERS.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE ANYTHING IS ANYMORE.
WHERE'S MY HAMMOCK ? HUH ?
YOUR HAMMOCK ?
BEFORE I CAME HERE, THIS PLACE WAS TOTALLY UPSIDE DOWN.
YEAH, OKAY, OKAY, BUT I THOUGHT YOU LIKED THE OPPOSITE WORLD.
HOW CAN YOU SAY THAT ?
AFTER ALL I'VE DONE AROUND HERE-- WHO ASKED YOU TO ?
I NEVER EVEN ASKED YOU TO MOVE IN HERE.
UH, UM, YOU'RE RIGHT.
I'M-- I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT. NO, NO.
NO, BABY, COME ON. NO, YOU'RE RIGHT.
IT'S FINE. DON'T-- NO, DON'T WORRY. NO, NO, B-BABY.
I'LL PUT EVERYTHING BACK WHERE IT WAS. BABY, COME ON. I'M SORRY.
I MEAN, I BELIEVE THIS BELONGS HERE.
WHOA !
LET ME SEE IF I REMEMBER IT CORRECTLY. OKAY, I DESERVED THAT.
- I BELIEVE THAT WAS OVER THERE. THAT WAS THERE. - I LIVE HERE TOO, YOU KNOW.
NEVER MADE THE BED. HUH ? WHAT ARE THESE ? PAPERS ? BABY-- COME ON.
HEY, NOT THE CDs. HEY, COME ON.
THIS WAS PROBABLY THERE. I BELIEVE THAT WAS THERE, IF I REMEMBER CORRECTLY.
MAYBE THAT WAS OVER THERE. I DON'T KNOW. UM, LET ME SEE. WAIT--
THIS STUFF. CAN WE TALK WITHOUT YOU GETTING SO VIOLENT ?
VIOLENT ?
HOW DID YOU KNOW WHAT YOU WANTED TO DO--
THAT YOU WANTED TO GO OFF AND SEE THE WORLD, ANYWAY ?
WERE YOU BORN KNOWING ?
IS EVERYBODY BORN KNOWING...
EXACTLY WHAT THEY WANT TO DO WITH THEIR LIFE, EXCEPT FOR ME ?
STOP IT.
ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME ?
WHY DOESN'T ANYBODY LISTEN TO ME ?
HELLO ? ARE YOU-- AM I INVISIBLE ?
[ Chattering ] [ Martin ] LOOK WHO'S BACK.
HIYA. HEY, HEY.
NO MATTER HOW MUCH MARTIN TRIES, HE CAN'T KILL ME WITH HIS FOOD, EH ?
COME ON. COME ON. HOW ARE YOU ? HIYA.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. VAMOS A TRABAJAR, ¿ NO ?
NO WORK FOR YOU. SIT DOWN AND TAKE IT EASY.
SIT DOWN AND TAKE IT-- GET HIM SOMETHING TO DRINK OR SOMETHING.
NOW, YOU STAY THERE. BEHAVE YOURSELF.
ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, HOMBRE.
GRACIAS. [ Martin ] LET'S GO.
VAMOS, MUCHACHOS. WE HAVE A VERY SPECIAL GUEST OF HONOR TODAY.
WE MUST PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION. OUR CAPTAIN IS BACK.
BECAUSE OF HIM, WE WILL COOK LIKE WE'VE NEVER COOKED BEFORE.
[ Glass Breaking ]
GOMEZ ? GOMEZ ?
HE'S GONE.
[ Deep Sigh ]
TOMA, PA. NO, NO, I'LL... JUST HAVE WATER.
YOU HAVE TO EAT SOMETHING. IT'LL MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER.
OH, NO. MY TASTE HAS DIED.
OH, WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THEM NOW THAT HE'S GONE ?
SOME OF THESE PEOPLE HAVE BEEN WITH ME AND GOMEZ FOR YEARS.
YOU KNOW, EVER SINCE MOM DIED,
YOU HAVE BEEN LOOKING OUT FOR EVERYBODY EXCEPT FOR YOURSELF. EH.
I MEAN, YOU NEED SOME TIME OFF.
JUST SLOW DOWN. SLOW DOWN ? WHY SHOULD I SLOW DOWN ?
THIS SHOULD BE A WAKE-UP CALL FOR YOU.
AH. [ Sighs ]
[ Groans ]
PA.
ISN'T THERE SOMETHING, ¿ QUE ME QUIERES DECIR ?
ENGLISH OR SPANISH. [ Sighs ]
WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHAT LANGUAGE I'M SPEAKING ?
TAKE THE JOB IN BARCELONA, CARMEN.
[ April ] HI. HEY !
COME HERE. COME HERE, YOU LITTLE THING YOU.
[ Laughing ] COME OVER HERE. COME ON.
THAT'S IT. RIGHT OVER HERE. THAT'S IT. [ Kissing Sound ]
COME ON, APRIL. MR. NARANJO DOESN'T WANT TO BE BOTHERED RIGHT NOW.
NO, NO, NO, NO. NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. SHE'S JUST WHAT I NEED RIGHT NOW.
JUST WHAT I NEED, HUH ?
OKAY.
[ Scoffs ]
"TAKE THE JOB IN BARCELONA."
IS THAT ALL YOU CAN MANAGE TO SAY ?
HOW ABOUT, "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, CARMEN ?
IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO ?"
ALL RIGHT, JUST CALM DOWN, CARMEN.
YOU DON'T CARE. CARE ABOUT WHAT ?
HOW I FEEL.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT ? HOW I FEEL, DAD.
GOMEZ KNEW.
HE TRIED TO TELL YOU, BUT YOU WOULDN'T LISTEN.
[ Sighs ] WHAT'S THE USE ?
JEFF ? PLEASE BE HOME. PLEASE BE HOME.
JEFF ? CARMEN ?
HEY. I'M SORRY FOR BARGING IN.
WHAT ? WHAT'S WRONG ? JUST HOLD ME.
[ Sighs ] I HAVE SO MUCH I WANT TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT.
CARMEN, LISTEN--
JEFF ?
I DIDN'T KNOW WE HAD COMPANY.
OH. [ Chuckles ]
[ Clears Throat ] UM, SORRY.
UM, I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE CALLED FIRST.
JUST GIVE ME A MINUTE, OKAY ?
PLEASE ? CARMEN.
CARMEN. STOP. STOP, STOP, STOP, STOP.
OKAY ? I'M SURE I MENTIONED RACHEL TO YOU BEFORE.
MAYBE A COUPLE OF TIMES, OR MAYBE NOT. I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T REMEMBER.
BUT... IT WASN'T THAT SERIOUS...
UNTIL RECENTLY.
CONGRATULATIONS.
ALL RIGHT. ARE YOU GONNA BE OKAY ?
YEAH. OF COURSE I'M GONNA BE ALL RIGHT.
IT'S FINE.
YOU KNOW, I REALLY CAME BY TO TELL YOU THAT I JUST ACCEPTED A NEW JOB IN BARCELONA.
I'M REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO IT. GREAT.
HERE YOU GO. THANK YOU.
HI. [ Carmen ] HI.
I'LL HAVE THE SAME, YEAH. SO, WHAT'S UP ?
[ Laughs ] NOTHING.
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THE TRIP BECAUSE--
WELL, I AM GOING. YEAH, I KNOW.
YEAH. I MEAN, IT'S PERFECT.
I SPEAK THE LANGUAGE, AND WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO LIVE...
IN A BEAUTIFUL CITY RIGHT ON THE MEDITERRANEAN ?
IT'S AN INCREDIBLE BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY...
THAT NO ONE IN THEIR RIGHT MIND WOULD WANT TO MISS.
SO I HAVE TO PACK.
BUT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT TO TAKE.
SO, WHAT'S THE, UH, WEATHER LIKE IN BARCELONA ?
BUT WE ARE NOT LEAVING FOR AT LEAST ANOTHER WEEK.
I KNOW. UH, BUT DO I NEED A CONVERTER ?
A-A CONVERTER ? YOU KNOW, WHAT'S THE VOLTAGE LIKE ?
UM, 120 ? 240 ?
A-ARE YOU OKAY ?
YEAH. OF COURSE I'M ALL RIGHT.
[ Exhales ] HMM-MM.
[ Both Chuckling ]
DO YOU KNOW WHY WE CLINK GLASSES BEFORE DRINKING ?
I'M NOT SURE. I NEVER THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
IT'S SO THAT ALL THE FIVE SENSES ARE INVOLVED.
WE TOUCH THE GLASS, WE SMELL THE DRINK,
WE SEE ITS COLOR, WE TASTE IT.
HEARING IS THE ONLY SENSE THAT DOESN'T PARTICIPATE...
UNLESS WE CREATE A SOUND.
TEMPERATE.
TYPICAL MEDITERRANEAN WEATHER.
YOU'LL NEED A COAT IN THE WINTER, THOUGH.
CONVERTER ? DEFINITELY.
ONE OR TWO OF THEM, YOU KNOW.
- HEY. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE ?
CAN I COME IN ?
YEAH.
HI.
DID YOU FIND YOUR PAPERS ?
YEAH. I FORGOT I'D HIDDEN THEM MYSELF. HMM.
I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FIND THEM.
WHY ?
I APPLIED TO THE SAME COLLEGE AS YOU. WHAT ?
IN CASE YOU CHANGED YOUR MIND ABOUT GOING,
I WANTED TO BE ABLE TO GO WITH YOU.
- DID YOU GET ACCEPTED ? - YEAH.
WHAT ? YEAH.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME ? [ Laughing ] NO.
WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ? WHAT IF I DIDN'T GET ACCEPTED ?
THEN YOU WOULD BE AN IDIOT. BUT I AM AN IDIOT.
TRUE.
[ Chicken Clucking ]
[ Shouting ]
[ Orlando ] I ALMOST GOT HIM !
OH, BOY, I DON'T THINK I WANNA EAT THAT.
AH. ♪♪ [ Humming ]
DAD ?
♪♪ [ Hortensia Humming ]
LET'S GO, APRIL. ♪ THIS IS GOING TO BE A MEMORABLE EVENING ♪♪
HOW DO I LOOK ?
I WONDER WHY MARTIN DIDN'T REMARRY.
HE'S NOT PHYSICALLY IMPAIRED IN ANY WAY, IS HE ?
I-I-I-I DON'T KNOW. ANYWAY,
DID YOU SIGN UP FOR THAT COMPUTER CLASS, YOLANDA ?
YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT YOUR FUTURE. [ Doorbell Rings ]
YOU LOOK GREAT, GRANDMA.
[ Andy ] MMM, CHICKEN, PORK AND LAMB. WOW.
[ Orlando ] WHAT ARE WE CELEBRATING, ANYWAY ?
FATE, FATE. WE'RE CELEBRATING FATE TONIGHT.
THAT'S WHY I PREPARED THIS SPECIAL MEAL,
TO CELEBRATE THE FATE THAT HAS BROUGHT US TO THIS TABLE.
I FEEL PART OF THE FAMILY ALREADY.
WELL, YOU ARE. YOU ARE. MM-HMM.
TO FAMILY. AH. TO FAMILY.
TO FAMILY, MY DEAR. SALUD. SALUD.
[ Carmen ] DAD, SHOULD YOU BE DRINKING ?
HUH ? OH, QUE NO TE APURES.
I CAN'T THINK OF A BETTER TIME TO CELEBRATE.
[ Laughing ] WHY DON'T WE EAT FIRST ?
YEAH. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.
OH, MARTIN, THE FOOD LOOKS DELICIOUS. THANK YOU, HORTENSIA.
THANK YOU. SOMEDAY YOU'LL HAVE TO LET ME COOK FOR YOU.
HMM ? I'M THE ONE WHO TAUGHT YOLANDA HER WAY AROUND THE KITCHEN.
OH ? I'D LIKE TO, UH, DO A SPECIAL TOAST...
TO MY FATHER-IN-LAW.
- TO YOU, SIR. YES. - [ Leticia ] OH, THAT'S NICE.
SALUD. THANK YOU. SALUD. SALUD, A TODOS.
[ Martin Clears Throat ]
NOW, I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. [ Loud Sigh ]
BUENO, AQUI ESTAMOS. MMM ?
LEADING OUR SEPARATE LIVES, BUT UNDER THE SAME ROOF,
WORRYING AND CARING FOR ONE ANOTHER.
IT'S THAT CARING-- IT'S WHAT MAKES US A FAMILIA, HUH ?
ENGLISH OR SPANISH, DAD.
[ Chuckling ] AND, UH, FAMILIES...
SHOULDN'T KEEP SECRETS FROM EACH OTHER.
BUT HACE MUCHO TIEMPO, I'VE KEPT ONE.
[ Leticia ] OH, DEAR. SOLAMENTE BECAUSE I...
I DIDN'T WANT TO BURDEN YOU WITH MY PERSONAL AFFAIRS,
BUT NOW I CAN'T KEEP IT ANY LONGER, SO--
- OH, WE'LL TALK SOME MORE DESPUES. - [ All Protesting ]
PLEASE, MARTIN. I-I-I CAN'T EAT A THING.
JUST SAY WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY, MI AMOR.
EVERY SUNDAY, I HAVE THREE ANGELS SIT AT MY TABLE...
IN THIS CASA FULL OF OLD MEMORIES.
AND NOW MY ANGELITAS ARE GONNA GO OFF INTO THE WORLD...
AND CREATE MEMORIES OF THEIR OWN.
AND I CAN EITHER SIT HERE BY MYSELF OR START A NEW LIFE.
- I'VE SOLD THE HOUSE. - YOU SOLD THE HOUSE ?
YOU DID WHAT, DAD ? IF I'M TO START A NEW LIFE,
I HAD TO, BUT I BOUGHT A NEW ONE.
OH ! HE BOUGHT A NEW HOUSE. WELL !
THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF ROOM FOR VISITORS, SO--
WELL, HEY, HERE'S TO THE NEW HOUSE, THEN.
[ Martin ] NEW HOUSE. TO THE NEW HOUSE.
[ Martin ] SALUD.
IS THAT IT, DEAR ? [ Orlando ] I HOPE THAT'S IT, 'CAUSE I'M HUNGRY.
HAVEN'T YOU FORGOTTEN SOMETHING ? HORTENSIA,
I'VE GOTTEN TO KNOW YOU OVER THE LAST FEW MONTHS, [ Leticia ] OH, NO.
Y AHORA... [ Leticia ] OH, MY GOD, CARMEN.
I FINALLY HAVE THE CONFIDENCE TO SAY WHAT I FEEL.
OH, MY GOD. OH, SI.
- EXCUSE ME. - WHERE'S HE GOING ?
I HAD A COMPLETE PHYSICAL. THAT'S THE MEDICAL REPORT. LETI, GRAB THAT.
[ Hortensia ] MEDICAL REPORT ? MIRA. TAKE A LOOK AT IT.
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AT IT, CARMEN ?
IT SAYS HE'S IN EXCELLENT HEALTH. OF COURSE HE IS.
WHY WOULDN'T HE BE ?
[ Chattering ] [ Hortensia ] OH ! WELL, I'M...
GLAD TO SEE THAT YOU'RE STILL IN GOOD WORKING ORDER. [ Laughing ]
AND I PROMISE YOU-- TE PROMETO-- THAT AS LONG AS I LIVE,
I'LL TAKE GOOD CARE OF YOUR DAUGHTER AND APRIL.
I WOULD EXPECT NOTHING LESS FROM A GENTLEMAN LIKE YOU, MARTIN.
AND YOU WILL ALWAYS BE WELCOME IN OUR HOUSE.
YES, OF--
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, MI AMOR ?
HORTENSIA, WILL YOU DO ME THE HONOR...
OF GIVING ME...
YOUR DAUGHTER'S HAND IN MARRIAGE ?
[ Laughter ]
DAD ! [ Laughs ] STOP DRINKING. DAD ?
MARTIN, JUST TAKE A FEW DEEP BREATHS.
YOU GOT A LITTLE CONFUSED. START AGAIN.
SI, SI, SI. YES, YES. SI. I-I WAS CONFUSED, BUT NOT ANYMORE.
NO. I-- I FORGOT TO ASK THE WOMAN IN QUESTION.
WHAT ?
YOLANDA, WILL YOU MARRY ME ?
[ Hortensia Gasps ] WHAT ?
- OH ! - [ Orlando ] ¡ CHIHUAHUA !
OH. NO !
DAD, DON'T YOU MEAN HORTENSIA ?
- WELL, OF COURSE HE DOES. - THE HELL I DO. I MEAN YOLANDA.
[ Hortensia ] YOLANDA, WHAT IS HE TALKING ABOUT ?
DOES THIS MEAN YOU'RE GONNA BE MY DAD ?
NO ! OH ! THAT'S UP TO YOUR MOM.
WELL, I-I FORBID YOU TO DO THIS, YOLANDA !
I'M A GROWN WOMAN, MOTHER.
I FORBID IT, I SAID.
[ Hortensia ] OH-- HUH.
[ Hortensia Stammers, Gasps ]
YOUR FATHER AND I LOVE EACH OTHER VERY MUCH.
YES, MARTIN, I WILL MARRY YOU.
[ April Giggling ]
[ Screaming ] [ Laughing ] ALL RIGHT !
- [ Sighs ] - [ Laughing ]
[ All Chattering, Laughing ] [ Maribel ] TO DAD AND YOLI !
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU GUYS NEVER NOTICED THEM BEFORE.
YOU KNEW ? YEAH !
OHH ! GRANDMA !
MOM ! HEY !
SOMEBODY, PICK THAT WOMAN UP.
GIVE HER SOME AIR.
[ Leticia ] GET HER SOME AIR. [ Maribel ] OPEN THE DOOR.
[ Yolanda ] GET HER OUTSIDE. IT'S OKAY.
UNZIP HER DRESS. LET HER BREATHE.
DON'T YOU TOUCH ME, YOU PERVERT ! "PERVERT" ?
OH, YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF. ALL OF YOU !
[ Sighing ] LET HER CATCH HER BREATH.
MOM ? ARE YOU ALL RIGHT ? WHAT KIND OF A FAMILY IS THIS ?
OH, GET AWAY ! OH ! [ Sighs ] [ Orlando ] IS ANYBODY GONNA EAT ?
BRAVO.
[ Whimpering ] [ Andy ] SOME WATER ?
OH, NO !
I-I SHOULD TAKE HER HOME.
SHE GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ? SH-SHE'LL BE FINE.
GOOD. ARE YOU GONNA BE ALL RIGHT ? YEAH.
I'LL BE FINE.
[ All Snickering ]
♪ YOU WON'T ADMIT YOU LOVE ME ♪
♪ AND SO ♪
♪ HOW AM I EVER ♪
♪ TO KNOW ♪
[ In Unison ] ♪ YOU ALWAYS TELL ME ♪
♪ PERHAPS, PERHAPS, PERHAPS ♪♪ [ Laughing ]
UM-- I SHOULD GO.
[ Laughter ]
[ Man ] HERE, LET ME HELP YOU.
HERE.
DAD-- AH, IT'S A SET OF SOME OF MY KNIVES.
SOME OF THEM, FOR YOUR NEW KITCHEN.
THANK YOU. YEAH, WELL, YOU BETTER PUT 'EM IN YOUR BAG,
BECAUSE YOU'LL NEVER GET PAST SECURITY.
IF YOU NEED ANYTHING,
ANYTHING AT ALL, YOU CALL, HMM ?
IF YOU CAN'T GET DECENT CHIPOTLES IN EUROPE,
I'LL SEND SOME AIR EXPRESS.
OKAY. OKAY.
ALL RIGHT, GO, GO, CARMEN. YOU'RE GONNA MISS YOUR PLANE. GO. BYE.
ADIOS.
[ Hearing Laughter ] [ Maribel's Voice ] AM I HALLUCINATING, OR ARE WE...
HAVING A PLEASANT DINNER ?
[ Carmen's Voice ] "HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT THIS, CARMEN ?
IS THIS WHAT YOU REALLY WANT TO DO ?"
[ Leticia's Voice ] HE WANTED TO AND I WANTED TO, TOO,
AND, AND W-W-WE-WE REALLY WANTED TO DO IT PROPERLY, DAD, BUT--
[ Carmen ] DAD ?
BARCELONA CAN WAIT.
UH-OH. [ Carmen Chuckles ]
ALL RIGHT ? MM-HMM.
OHH ! CHICKEN PIBIL. MM-HMM.
BUT I WANTED YOU TO TASTE MY VERSION.
ALL RIGHT. OH. YEAH ?
HMM. HERE WE GO.
HMM. IT'S, UM--
IT'S--
IT'S EXQUISITO !
AH ! [ Laughs ] IT'S--
YOU'RE GOOD. YOU'RE VERY GOOD, CARMEN. MMM-MM !
OH, THANK YOU. YEAH, BUT THE SERRANOS IS TOO SHARP, TOO SHARP.
NEXT TIME, NOT SO MUCH ZEST, HMM ?
WELL, I THINK THAT IT'S BETTER. IT'S A LITTLE MORE INTERESTING.
WHAT ? WHAT'S WRONG ?
I CAN TASTE.
I-I CAN-- [ Sniffing ]
I CAN SMELL AND I CAN TASTE.
[ Chuckles ]
[ Valet ] GOOD EVENING. [ Woman ] BUENAS NOCHES.
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. ONE MORE THING.
THERE YOU GO, GAVIN. THANK YOU.
HEY, ROCK, HOW'S IT COMING THERE ? MY TABLE'S WAITING.
TABLE 22, YOU GUYS. EXTRA SPECIAL TREATMENT, PLEASE. VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE.
PEOPLE ARE WAITING TO GET A TABLE. LOOKING GOOD. ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT. WAIT, WAIT, WAIT. OKAY.
THERE WE GO. ALL RIGHT, YOU GUYS.
CAREFUL ON THE LOBSTER, OKAY ? ONLY TWO MORE MINUTES, PLEASE.
HI. HOW ARE YOU DOING ?
IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. GOOD. EVERYTHING OKAY ? EVERYTHING IS FINE.
[ Cheering ]
TONIGHT'S LOBSTER. OH, THAT LOOKS SO GOOD.
[ Chattering ]
CARMEN. THE LOBSTER. WHAT ?
WHAT, DAD ? ARE YOU DOING IT IN A--
YOU NEED TO SIT DOWN, HAVE A BITE, AND THEN YOU CAN CRITICIZE IT.
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM ?
ATTENTION, EVERYBODY. AHEM. I HAVE AN ANNOUNCEMENT.
IT'S A GIRL. [ Cheering ]
[ Leticia ] OH, I'M SO HAPPY FOR YOU !
WOW ! NOTHING BUT GIRLS !
YOU'RE THE DOS EQUIS MAN. GIVE ME A HIGH FIVE.
♪ YOU WON'T ADMIT YOU LOVE ME ♪
♪ AND SO HOW AM I EVER ♪
♪ TO KNOW ♪
♪ YOU ALWAYS TELL ME ♪
♪ PERHAPS, PERHAPS ♪
♪ QUIZAS ♪
♪ Y ASI PASAN LOS DIAS ♪
♪ Y YO, DESESPERADA ♪
♪ Y TU, TU CONTESTANDO ♪
♪ QUIZAS, QUIZAS, QUIZAS ♪
♪ ESTAS PERDIENDO EL TIEMPO ♪
♪ PENSANDO, PENSANDO ♪
♪ POR LO QUE MAS TU QUIERAS ♪
♪ HASTA CUANDO ♪
♪ SO IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME SAY YES ♪
♪ BUT IF YOU DON'T, DEAR ♪
♪ CONFESS AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ♪
♪ PERHAPS, PERHAPS ♪
♪ QUIZAS ♪
♪ SIEMPRE QUE TE PREGUNTO ♪
♪ QUE, CUANDO, COMO Y DONDE ♪
♪ TU ME RESPONDES ♪
♪ QUIZA, QUIZA, QUIZA QUIZA, QUIZA, QUIZA ♪
♪ PENSANDO ♪
♪ ESTAS PERDIENDO EL TIEMPO ♪
♪ PENSANDO, PENSANDO ♪
♪ Y ASI PASAN LOS DIAS ♪
♪ Y YO, DESESPERADAMENTE ♪
♪ PENSANDO TAMBIEN, TAMBIEN ♪
♪ IF YOU CAN'T MAKE YOUR MIND UP ♪
♪ WE'LL NEVER GET STARTED ♪
♪ AND I DON'T WANT TO WIND UP ♪
♪ BEING PARTED ♪
♪ BROKENHEARTED ♪
♪ SO IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME SAY YES ♪
♪ BUT IF YOU DON'T, DEAR ♪
♪ CONFESS AND PLEASE DON'T TELL ME ♪
♪ PERHAPS, PERHAPS ♪
♪ QUIZAS ♪
♪♪
♪ VIDA MIA, HASTA CUANDO ♪
♪ HASTA CUANDO HASTA CUANDO ♪
♪ VIDA MIA, NO ME HAGAS PERDER MAS EL TIEMPO ♪
♪ HASTA CUANDO ♪
♪♪
♪ MIRA QUE ESTA SOPA SE ME ESTA ENFRIANDO ♪
♪ NO ME HAGAS PERDER MAS EL TIEMPO, MI VIDA ♪
♪ NO ME HAGAS PERDER MAS EL TIEMPO ♪
♪ HASTA CUANDO HASTA CUANDO ♪
♪ QUE ESTA SOPA SE ME ESTA ENFRIANDO ♪♪
♪♪